girly-fanatic:

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

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  • 2 hours ago
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didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

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wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

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  • 2 hours ago
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in 16 days i’m gonna be 16. Yay!

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  • #personal
  • 3 hours ago
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  • #me #flower crown
  • 3 hours ago
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I look so cute when I wear a flower crown

I wanna wear flower crowns 24/7

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  • #personal
  • 3 hours ago
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baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

LIVE IN A HOUSE

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  • 4 hours ago
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  • 6 hours ago
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  • #me
  • 7 hours ago
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So, I made a deal with my mom and, if this post get 1,000 notes, she’s gonna let me have another piercing

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  • #bringing this back #get ready mom!
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